SO, THIS IS HOW WE COMMUNICATE

I am sorry I told you I would do something that I ended up not doing. I feel terrible about letting you down and I would love to say “I wish I could make it up to you” but I don’t really care to because of the way you have reacted. I work 8 hours a day and I am sometimes exhausted at the end of the day, like today. Love the job, love being exhausted by it BUT I cannot be expected to go from working 8 hours, completely exhausted, walking the dogs, and then lugging equipment around, setting up, taking pictures, editing…..I can’t do all this today. I am simply tired. Way too tired to deal with the emotional stresses you are causing me.
You know me well enough to know it was nothing I was remotely excited about doing in the first place. You shouldve been able to tell by the tone of my voice when you called me on Monday, it was utterly dead. It was all a very uncomfortable situation for me from the get go and I found it inappropriate of you to want me in your world. I should have told you ‘no’ then, and I don’t appreciate you acting like you were doing ME a favor.
You told people I was talented..great, I thank you for that. BUT there was no talent to be had tonight…….because, I will say it again, I am fucking tired. You put me on a pedestal that I could not step onto. I didn’t put myself there, you did. You expected too much from me without considering me as a human being or what my life consists of in the least.
I am more concerned with disappointing myself than anyone. I disappointed myself by letting you down tonight but I did not foresee a stellar photographic situation that would have been worth dragging my ass out into the dark night of exhaustion.
I love how you hung up on me and then texted me, and then called me and then hung up and you complain that you end up in my blog. Sometimes this voice is all I have.
I don’t want to “air your dirty laundry” or slander your name, which always goes unmentioned by the way…….its my dirty laundry. Its not about you here.
I have noted that you think in my blog I should mention that you are sexually satisfying and that I said I love you. Actually what you said was “tell people I make you cum” or something like that, but I found that a bit crude to say... so I left it out.