Why do I put myself through this? I consider it may be a necessary evil. Every day I am confronted with happy or unhappy, couples or non couples buying or selling a house. And everyday I drive by “my” house on my way “home” to my apartment.(I don’t drive by it on purpose, I can see it from the street I drive down to get “home”) I just looked at pictures I had taken of the house throughout the years. I was proud of the work I did there and still am, that’s why I was looking at the pictures. Part of me still lives there.
I miss being in love with him. Its not about the house, and it’s not about getting him back, but that’s where our life was supposed to be, I don’t know him anymore. I miss what was suppose to be and never was. I want the part of me that still lives in that house to move out. I want the part of me that was invested in him to invest in me. We’re working on it, and most days, everything is superbly repressed. Today is not one of those days.
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