ONE aspect of my life is a complete mess and it makes every little thing in between feel equally disastrous. I hold “love” in the highest regard. Don’t make me feel it when you don’t have the capacity to deal with the repercussions of your failure.
I need 3 things from a relationship and 3 things only.
1. Quality TWO way conversations….meaning I ALSO get to talk and feel I am being heard. If I feel I am not being heard….I will treat you the same as I treat my dogs when they don’t listen.
2. Honesty….you are lying to a pro, at least be good at your game. Spend the efforts on lying to me properly or just be honest. Because honestly, I am insulted by a sloppy liar. I deserve for you to spend the effort of putting thought into your lies. Make them elaborate…..utilize your creative writing skills.
3. Time…..working long hours is no excuse when you are spending your free time with some skank living in your apartment whom you think you can “save”. I AM more important because I have treated you far better than anyone you know. I ask nothing from you….but your fucking time. And you give it people who do nothing but fuck you over. We have had this conversation but you wouldn’t remember, because you only have the capacity to hear the things that YOU say.
If I’m using you for anything its affection and conversation. So fuck you.
Last night your arms completely encircled me and I could hear your breathe in my ear as you fell asleep that way, holding me. That was after you said you want to be with me and after we kissed and laughed and talked. After we planned on going out tonight.
Tonight is different. Tonight I have nothing from you but I get to witness your skank going into your apt like she belongs there. I don’t even get to have the “her or me” conversation with you, because you didn’t call. I know you’re not romantically involved with her, but you are. She is your life right now, not me. She consumes you, not me. No matter what you say…..that is the truth. How would you feel if I had a man who thought he was in love with me living in my apartment? What if the tables were turned in every regard? How would you feel? How would YOU feel to NOT hear from me but see a man walk into my apartment as if he belonged there? Have you ever considered how I felt about any of this? Have I been too understanding”? Because I don’t understand, let me make that clear.
The only way you will ever get another chance is to get her out of here.
The only thing I understand is the pain and confusion I feel in your absence.
VERY well put. I fucking HATE hate HATE guys who waste your time feeding you lines of bullshit and expecting you to really believe it. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You're an incredible woman Ms. Carroll...you will find someone who can keep up with that wit, intellect and sheer power of will!
ReplyDeletewanted to have a human conversation about this but I guess thats not possible tonight. I am not a control freak, I'm not trying to reign you in or have my way....but, I have come to the conclusion tonight that if you would like to continue building a relationship with me, which I would like very much, you need to lose the baggage.
ReplyDeleteI find your roommate situation a difficult thing to deal with and I hate to do this but its the only way.....I'm giving you a choice. I'm stepping back until she is gone. Regardless of whether you are romantically involved with her or not, this is where I'm coming from.....you were supposed to spend time with me today. Instead i barely hear from you but get to see a woman who does you nothing but wrong waltz right in your door as if she has the right and I am sick of it, it happens all too often.
As a friend, please take my advice for once and stop letting assholes walk all over you.
As a girl who loves you, please make the right decision. I'm sure I fell asleep with a smile on my face last night when I heard your sleeping breathe in my ear, arms tight around me. It was amazing. Don't do that if you don't mean it.
- e-mail sent with no response but "I'm working on my reply"